Becoming a parent, or not?

Picasso, Boy with a Dove, 1901

Change Arises through Understanding and Hard Work

Together we will explore hurt, betrayal, grief and trauma, addressing and finding solutions to anxiety and depression. I pay close attention to disappointments, stressors and communication roadblocks which often lower self-esteem and inner resources. Life’s unexpected blows and grief can frequently alter one’s ability to effectively cope in relationships within families and work while struggling to keep afloat.
As an agent of change, my goal is to improve communication between couples, parent and child and enhance performance within work and social arenas. I also specialize in the unique challenges of bi-cultural families, blended families, single parenting and being single in a couples’ world.

Equal Partnership Within Couples

However, they also live within a world filled with the promises delivered by the “Me Too” movement, of women becoming financially independent and able to postpone having children through medical progress.
The reality is that more women attend college than men, more women are achieving highly paid jobs, and many women choose to live with their partners before getting fully committed to marriage and parenthood. Truly, today’s women are thriving way beyond what their grandmothers and even their mothers dreamed of. They have choices, flexibility and independence.
Men on the other hand, have always had less social pressure to conform, more time to focus on their careers, and the freedom to postpone far into the future the decision to have children. This does not negate men’s need for parenthood and legacy.
Today, equal partnership exists within couples. Decisions are no longer based on traditional values; rather, equal distribution of tasks is the norm, financial burdens are distributed evenly, decisions are reached together, and partners have established goals within their own careers that are valued more evenly.

A Crucial Decision to Make

So where does this leave the decision to have a child or children?
This is the biggest decision one can make in life, and it is permanent.
You can lose a job and find another one, you can live in one city or move to another, you can rebuild a social group, you can even divorce your spouse because your desires about becoming parents did not align.
But it is fundamental to understand the forever impact of deciding to and having a child. Once a parent always a parent; whether you give birth to this child, create this child through IVF, adopt this child, you have committed yourself to another life and in that lies your biggest responsibility, your largest donation, your career for life, even beyond your legacy.

Helping Young Couples

I admire these individuals and/or couples who reach out to me for help and admit to their hesitation, who admit they are considering a childless existence, that runs against established societal norms and family pressures.
Together, I can help you face very uncomfortable feelings, wrestle with your indecision, your confusion, weigh the pros and cons, deal with possible societal disapproval, familial expectations and disappointments, and the possible breaking up of your couple.
Together, we can share your uneasiness, your denial, your fear of being selfish, of embarrassment, your profound anxiety and how to deal with possible regrets.
I will help you listen, understand and weigh the pros and cons, and ultimately live with your inner voice fully respected and heard.

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